❆ 1st Present ❆ [public video post] [BACKDATED to September 2]

[saltysanta]

[Have a young man in a monocle and top hat, complete with a sprig of mistletoe decorating the band, (which seems to be nothing but a belt wrapped around it) squinting dubiously into the mirror.]

She said this is some kind of..... magical intelligent telegraph, right.....? You just talk to it?

[It's a little hard to use, even after Fumiko had showed him the basics, but he's working on it--and his uncertainty is quickly covered with an irritated, impatient look.]

Right, then. Anyone who can see this, listen up! I'm looking for a reindeer with a red nose or a tall guy with long silver hair! They--he answers to Rudolph. You can probably get the idiot's attention with candy or cakes, okay? He belongs with me, and he's going to be in big trouble if he's here but hasn't tried to find me yet. You hear me, Rudolph? You'd better have a good explanation, or I'm cutting you off from sweets for a whole week!

.....Now, how do I make it go.....?

[There's a long beat of silence between his message and his realization that he's not sure how to send it. Noël's scowl softens a little in confusion as he starts poking at the mirror with a gloved hand; a few seconds later, the message ends.]

Comments

[saltysanta]

What's a box animal?

[Give him a break, the guy came named already.....]

[gottastaycalm]

Yare, yare.

You don't know how to answer questions simply, do you?

[saltysanta]

You don't ask simple questions, either.

He's a magical reindeer who also has a human form, that's as simple as I can make it.

[gottastaycalm]

Human?! You mean, he's a man?!

[saltysanta]

Didn't you listen? When he's a reindeer, he has a red nose, and when he's a human, he has long silver hair! He's about a head taller than I am when he's a man.

[gottastaycalm]

Never mind. I don't want to meet him anymore.

[saltysanta]

.....Huh? Why not?

[gottastaycalm]

I don't really like meeting guys.

[saltysanta]

Tch. If you don't want to meet him, then you don't have to. Even if he's a reindeer, he's still a guy anyway, you know.

[gottastaycalm]

It's not the same, at all.

[saltysanta]

Geez..... What, do you have a phobia of human men or something?

[gottastaycalm]

They're not cute, and I only like being introduced to cute girls.

[saltysanta]

You must live in your own little world, if you think you can go through life only meeting cute girls.....

[gottastaycalm]

[ A wink. ]

You're just don't try hard enough.

[ By age 5, he'd already seen so many boobies, it's really unfair that things aren't so simple as they were back then. ]

[saltysanta]

Idiot..... I have more important things to worry about than girls.

[Translation: He hasn't tried at all. His boobies counter is a big fat 0; he probably didn't even have any female friends growing up. Gender segregation was alive and well in Victorian England.]

[gottastaycalm]

[ A quiet grin. ]

Like delivering presents on Christmas eve?

[saltysanta]

Exactly.

[Arms folded, totally serious.]

[gottastaycalm]

Eehhh?!!

[ He was kidding! ]

[saltysanta]

What?

[He wasn't, though. Sorry, Lambo!]

[gottastaycalm]

You're Santa Claus?!!!

Eeeerk--

[ How many times had he insulted him?!!! Oh god. ]

Please don't give me coal! I'll be nice.

[saltysanta]

I'm one of them, at least. But Italy is part of my territory, so I'm probably your Santa.

[Have a snort. As entertaining as it is to watch people freak out.....]

I don't care whether you're naughty or nice. That's just something adults made up to hold over your head.

1/3

[gottastaycalm]

[ What???? There's more than one Santa?! ]

Does that mean La Befana isn't one lady either?

2/3

[gottastaycalm]

[ Wait a minute. If he had Italy then HE definitely is his Santa Claus! Crap! Good thing he buttered him up with food already. Maybe he should make him Christmas cookies too. Next time. He'll make them from scratch and decorate--- ]

3/3

[gottastaycalm]

What do you mean? [ A slow blink. ] I can be naughty and still get gifts?

Gokudera-shi lied to me...

[saltysanta]

La Befana--she was one of my predecessors, I think. Santas can be girls, too, and I haven't had this job for that long.

[He doesn't actually know that much about all the Santas that came before him, not even Lord Klaus. After all, the mortality rate for this work is..... pretty high, to be honest. Well over two dozen Santas had come before him. Noël sighs and rubs his temples.]

Look..... I told you when we met that I fight monsters, right? Do you know why Santa Claus brings people gifts in the first place? Being good or bad has nothing to do with it.